If it doesn’t start with you, it dies with you.
—Julian Casablancas

As the change agent, the client empowers you to put the change into motion. However, it is critical to understand the difference between actuating a change and owning it. The client, not you, owns the change.

Clients naturally want the vendor to take care of everything. That’s what they’re paying you for, right? The client selected you over your competition because he trusts you to deliver. Since the client is extremely busy juggling many problems, he does not have time to babysit you. So he holds you accountable.

Many years ago, when I was a student of Mike Bosworth, author of Solution Selling, he emphatically stressed the importance of not taking ownership of the client’s problem. The reason: Clients who do not take ownership of their changes do not implement them successfully. And who gets blamed? You.

You, as the change agent, are there to assist, support, analyze, compute, advise, communicate, advocate, and so on. But you cannot make the change for the client. Making a change is like assisting someone with quitting smoking. You cannot quit smoking for the client. He must quit for himself.

This is, perhaps, the most important point of this book: Do not fall into the trap of owning your customer’s problems.

You have an appropriate change agent relationship when the customer views you as a fellow colleague in a two-person boat. 

Set clear expectations upfront that you will be the client’s strategic resource by helping the client create high value. But ultimately, the client, not you, owns her business.

Be careful to keep the client involved. Do not let her disappear and her communications with you “go dark.”

Keep communication open by putting terms in the contract whereby (a) the internal agent and key resource owners are required to meet with your team on a regular basis, and (b) the executive sponsor or business owner is required to meet with you on a regular, albeit less frequent, basis throughout the change project.

Do not shoot yourself in the foot by overselling—painting overly rosy pictures and making promises you cannot deliver. Once you do that, the customer will “own” you. You will forever be the customer’s Golden Retriever answering to her every beck and call.

Do not oversell. Both you and the customer should consider each other as peers and hold each other mutually accountable. Keep the client in the boat with you.